To the Forbes' Family - Gretchen was a breath of life to me many times. Her positive outlook on life was contagious. I will never forget her smile, her laugh and her love for people. You were very blessed to have a AWESOME daughter.

To Eric: The love of your life is not gone forever she is in your heart. Cherish the memories and smile.

You all are in my prayers. God Bless.

My thoughts and prayers are with the O'Conner family and the Forbes family. Gretchen was a very close friend of mine and she will be greatly missed.

This is an email that Gretch had sent to me awhile back. As one of many of her close friends, I honestly feel that this is how Gretch viewed and lived her life. After learning of her sudden departure from our lives, re-reading this email brought me a little peace. Gretch would want all who knew and loved her to remember her like this and try very hard to honor her by living your lives well, because you never know when it may end.

From: Gretchen Forbes
Sent: Thursday, June 13, 2002 2:59 PM
To: Meagan Powell
Subject: This is good!
Meagan,
A friend sent me this... it's long, but a lot like we were talking about at lunch! Gretch

> There comes a time when you finally get it > > When in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks, and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears, and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. > This is your awakening. > > You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. > > You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella. And you realize in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you; and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. > > You awaken to the fact that you're not perfect, that not > everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are, and that's okay. They're entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself; and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval. > > You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you), and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. > > You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you; and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own, and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. > > You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties; and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. > > You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all that you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, and how much you should weigh; what you should wear and where you should shop, and what you should drive; how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living; who you should sleep with, who you should marry, and what you should expect of a marriage; the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents. > > You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with; and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. > > You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing; and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. > > You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. > > You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. > > You learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries, and learning to say N0. > > You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake. > > Then you learn about love. Romantic love and the familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. > > You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. > > You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. > > You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. > > You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. > > You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just to make you happy. > > And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. > > And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10, and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." > > You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. > > You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. And that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. > > You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect; and you won't settle for less. > And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his/her touch and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. > > And you learn that your body really is your temple, and you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. > > You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. > > So you take more time to rest. > > And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. > > So you take more time to laugh and to play. > > You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. > > You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. > > More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. > > You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. > > You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. > > And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve; and that sometimes-bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. > > You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state ~ the ego. > > You learn negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you, and poison the universe that surrounds you, you begin to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility. > > You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls. > > You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a > long hot shower. > > Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by > yourself; and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never settle for less than your heart's desire. > > And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. > > And you make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. > > Finally, with courage in your heart and with (God's) spirit by your side you take a stand; you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life that you want to live as best as you can.

I had a class at Dinwiddie High School and graduated in 1994 with Gretchen. I could not believe the news. I am so deeply sorry. I found a letter that she wrote to me back in high school.....I can see her smiling and that made everyone around her smile. I can say that I am lucky and blessed that we crossed paths. Know that all of you are in my prays and know she is looking down on all of us.....smiling.

With deepest sympathy,

Donnie K.

I live down the street from you guys and my wife and I had just stopped and said hi to Gretchen as she was doing some yard work while we were on a walk Friday evening. From our brief encounter she was obviously a very sweet and caring person and I was sorry to hear of her and her brother passing so suddenly. It is such a small world, she worked with my father at Lansing and he has nothing but nice things to say about her. Eric, please know that your family is in our prayers and we wish you peace and comfort in this time of grief.

No words can ever express the sadness at losing two people so young. Although we have never met, my thoughts are prayers are with you and your family.

The Tindall family from Portersville, PA.

May the Lord put His blessed sweet arms around you and comfort in your time of need. Your family has my deepest sympathy. I am a member of Dinwiddie class of 1994, and I had a couple of classes with Gretchen. She was always a pleasent person, and she always had a corny joke to tell you. She will be missed. I hope that you find comfort and joy in the presence of our Lord. There is nothing that our God can not do, He can work out every situation in your life, and He will work this one out for you. Remember that God makes no mistakes, He only takes the best.

Dear Forbes and O'Connor families,

I am deeply sorry for your loss of both Gretchen and Eric. May God guide your families and friends during this time of great sorrow.

I've never met anyone who reached out and touched lives like Gretchen did during her brief time on earth. Her depth of love and understanding of our Lord surpassed that of anyone I've ever known. She will truly be missed. Our prayers are with her loving husband and family.

Our hearts feel the pain of this loss and we send our heartfelt prayers to the entire Forbes/LeClair family.Our prayers are with Eric, Gretchen's husband during this difficult time may God give you strength.

To the family of Gretchen, words can't express my sorrow. Gretchen was the sweetest spirit I've ever met, and she touched countless numbers of lives, including mine. She will be forever missed. Thank you Gretchen for being you.

To the Families of Eric O'Connor and Gretchen Forbes-O'Connor: Words cannot express our deepest sympathy to you and your family in this excruciating time. We pray that you find some comfort in your fragrance of memories of Gretchen. Please know that you are greatly cared for by all of us. One day we will know the answers to life's sorrows, until then let us remember our loved ones and honor their memory.

TO THE O'CONNOR FAMILY I EXTEND MY DEEPEST SORROW FOR YOU AT THIS TIME. I WILL KEEP YOU AND GRETCHENS FAMILY IN MY PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS.DEBBIE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THERE IS ANYTHING AT ALL THAT I CAN DO FOR YOU .GOD KEEP YOU ALL IN HIS GRACE.

We wish to extend our deepest sympathy in your time of grief. We pray that God will give you the strength to bear this terrible burden.

Eric - please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. We hope that you take comfort in knowing that God will take care of you during this difficult time.

Dear Debbie, Bryan, Eric, and family. I know no words can express the grief over such a tragedy but look to God for comfort and hopefully some peace in the future. Our Bible Study group is praying for your family as am I.

May the peace of God that passes all human understanding be with the entire Forbes/LeClair families. Gretchen was a dear friend who touched many with her loving kindness and sweetness. Although we deeply miss her we can take comfort in knowing that she is with God the Father! Gretchen touched many lives here on earth and we will never forget her. To Eric and the family - you did a wonderful job in loving her. I am continuing to keep all of you in my prayers. May God bless you with strength, love and peace and keep you in His ways.

It is so difficult to know what to say...Words seem so inadequate...But please know there are many of us who care and who are here to help and provide comfort in whatever small ways we can.

To Eric O'Connor, take hold of the memories you and Gretchen have made together and keep them close, and know she will be forever with you in spirit, and in love.

To the families, remember, those who we hold most dear never truly leave us, they live on in the kindness they showed, the comfort they shared, and the love they brought into our lives.

With my deepest sympathy,
Christine Port, Passavant Homes

May the peace of God that transends all understanding come to you in this time of grief. The Holy Spirit, our great comfortor, will hold you and answer you.

Our prayers are with you and your families. May the short time you spent together be a sweet memory for the road ahead.

We hope you take the time you need to greive and reflect and rest.

Jesus loves you

To Debbie & Brian O'Connor - The Johnson family would like to offer our deepest condolences on the loss of your daughter-in-law. You, your son Eric, and Gretchen's family are in our thoughts and prayers through this most difficult time.

Love,
Dale, Judy, Jeremiah, Ashley & Luke Johnson

Eric: My deepsest sympathy goes out to you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers. May God guide you through this most difficult time in your life.

The Galante - Hamilton family offers their deepest sympathy for your tragic loss. We want you to know that you are all in our prayers and hope you can find some comfort in knowing that Eric and Gretchen are with God.

Love
Danielle, Craig, Christian, Sue, Nick, JoAnn, Nick, Nicholas, Thomas and Julia

The entire extended family in NC and SC are heartbroken at the loss of Gretchen and Eric. They were two fine young people. We know that they are both with God in heaven and that brings us consolation. We send our love to the entire Forbes/LeClair families. To Eric, Gretchen's husband, we extend our heartfelt sympathy on the loss of the love of your life.